


Akame Ga Christmas

by Fireside



Category: Akame ga Kill!
Genre: Action/Adventure, Christmas, Gen, Humor, poem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireside/pseuds/Fireside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3 Christmas songs and 2 Christmas Poems adapted to feature some of your favorite characters from Akame Ga Kill. Followed by the story of how Night Raid faced one of it's toughest opponents yet: Santa Claus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Twas the Night Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be posting the poems and songs throughout December, and the story will be in 2 parts which I'll post on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.
> 
> First up is "Twas the Night Before Christmas." I was tempted to make Dr Stylish Santa, but I thought Esdeath was better.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hideaway  
Not a creature was stirring, not even Leone.  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St Esdeath would soon be there.

The assassins were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.  
And Lubbock in his ‘kercheif, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled our brains for a long winters nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects bellow.  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Jaeger.

With a tall, blue haired driver, with well-endowed breasts.  
I knew in a moment it must be Esdeath.  
More rapid than danger beasts her coursers they came,  
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

“Now Seryuu! Now Stylish! Now Kurome and Waven!  
On Daidara! On Liver! On Rundolph and Bolszen!  
To the top of the fort! To the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

As heads that before Akame fly,  
When they meet Murasame, mount to the sky.  
So up to the fort top the Jaegers they flew,  
With a sleigh full of Teigu, and St Esdeath too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
As I drew in my head and was turning around,  
Down the chimney came St Esdeath with a bound.

She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,  
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.  
A bundle of Teigu she had flung on her back,  
And she looked like a peddler, just opening her pack.

Her eyes, how they twinkled! Her dimpled how merry!  
Her cheeks were like roses, her lips like a cherry!  
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And her flawless skin was as white as the snow.

The hilt of her blade she held tight by her side,  
And her Teigu mark showed ‘bove her cleavage with pride.  
She had a cute face, and big supple breasts,  
That shook when she laughed, Lubbock thought that was the best!

She spoke not a word, but went straight to work,  
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.  
And laying a finger aside of her nose,  
And giving a nod, up the chimney she rose.

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
But I heard her exclaim, as she flew out of sight,  
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”


	2. Susanoo the Snowman

Susanoo the snowman,  
Was a happy, jolly soul.  
With a metal stave, and dark blue eyes,  
And bulls horns made of Coal.

Susanoo the snowman,  
Is a fairy tale, they say.  
He was made of snow, but the children know  
That he came to life one day.

It must have been a Teigu, that magatama they found.  
For when they placed it in his chest he began to dance around.

Susanoo the snowman  
Was alive as he could be.  
And the children say he could fight and play  
Just the same as you and me.

Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump,  
Looks at Susanoo go.

Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump,  
Killing criminals high and low.

Susanno the snowman  
Knew the sun was hot that day.  
So he said “Let’s run, and we’ll kill someone  
Before I melt away.”

Down to the capital,  
With his metal stave in hand.  
Running here and there, all about the square,  
Saying “Stop me if you can.”

He was ambush by Esdeath, who had come back for more.  
And only paused a moment as she ripped out his core.

Susanno the snowman,  
Fought his best to keep her at bay.  
But he waved goodbye, saying “Don’t cry,  
I’ll be back again someday.”


	3. Rundolph the White Winged Jaegar

Rundolph the white winged Jaeger,  
Had a pair of shiny wings.  
And if you ever saw them,  
You would even say they blinged.

All of the other Jaegers,  
Used to laugh and call him names. (Except Bols)  
They never let poor Rundolph,  
Join in any Jaeger games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve,  
Esdeath came to say.  
“Rundolp, with your wings so bright,  
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

Then all the Jaegers loved him,  
And they shouted out with glee.  
“Rundolph the white winged Jaeger,  
You’ll go down in history!”


	4. How the Prime Minister stole Christmas

Every Who in the capital Liked Christmas a lot.  
But the prime minister, who lived in the palace, did NOT!  
Honest hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.  
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.  
But I think that the most likely reason of all,  
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,  
Staring down from his room with a sour frown,  
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew every Who in the capital beneath,  
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.  
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,  
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his fat fingers nervously drumming,  
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"  
For tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,  
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!  
Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!  
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!  
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They would feast on pudding, and rare danger beast.  
Which was something the minister couldn't stand in the least!  
And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all!  
Every Who down in the capital, the tall and the small,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.  
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!  
SING! SING! SING!

And the more Honest thought of this Who Christmas sing,  
The more that he thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"  
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"  
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!  
THE PRIME MINISTER GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!  
"I know just what to do!" Honest laughed in his throat.  
And he made a quick Esdeath Claus hat and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great greedy trick!"  
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"  
(He really does when you think about it)

"All I need is a reindeer..." The minister looked around.  
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.  
Did that stop the prime minister? No! Honest simply said,  
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

He called his emperor, Makato. Then he took some red thread,  
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.  
THEN he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks,  
On a ramshackle sleigh and he hitched up old Mak’s.

Then he said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,  
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.  
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
When he came to the first little house on the square.

"This is stop number one," the prime minister hissed,  
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.  
Then he slid down the chimney. A challenging test.  
But, if Esdeath could do it, then so could Honest.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.  
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.  
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room, and he took every present!  
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the minister, very nimbly,  
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!  
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!  
He took all the pudding! He took the danger beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.  
Why, the minister even took their last can of hash!  
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.  
"And NOW!" grinned the minister, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And so he grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,  
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!  
Little Akame, who was not more than two.

The minister had been caught by this tiny daughter,  
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.  
She stared at Honest and said, "Esdeath Claus, why,”  
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

But, you know, the Prime Minister was so smart and so slick,  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!  
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Esdeath Claus lied,  
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."

"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."  
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."  
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,  
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

And when Akame went to bed with her cup,  
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!  
Then the last thing he took was the log for their fire!  
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.

The one speck of food that he left in the house,  
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.  
Then he did the same thing to the other Whos' houses  
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Whos' mouses!

It was quarter past dawn, all the Whos, still a-bed,  
All the Whos, still asnooze when he packed up his sled,  
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of the palace,  
He rode with his load, grinning with malice!  
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was happily humming.  
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"

"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"  
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,  
Then the Whos in Capital will all cry BooHoo!  
Our presents are stolen, what will we do?”

"That's a noise," grinned the minister, "That I simply MUST hear!"  
So he paused. And the minister put his hand to his ear.  
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!  
He stared down at the capital! Honest popped his eyes!  
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Everyone in the capital, the tall and the small,  
Was singing! Without any presents at all!  
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the minister, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?"  
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!"  
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.  
Then the minister thought of something he hadn't before!  
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."  
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then? Well...in the capital they say,  
Absolutely nothing happened to him that day!

And the minute he stopped caring about wrong and right,  
He whizzed into the palace, grinning with delight!  
And he kept the toys! And the food for the feast!  
And he, HE ALONE! Ate all the danger beast!


	5. Jingle Bols

Dashing through the snow  
In a one horse open sleigh  
Over the field we go  
Burning all the way

Rubicante rings  
Setting houses alight  
What fun it is to ride and sing  
A slaying song tonight

Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way  
Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way

A day or two ago  
I thought I’d take a ride  
And soon, Miss Fanny Bols  
Was seated by my side

The horse was lean and lank  
Misfortune seemed his lot  
He got into a drifted bank  
And then we got upsot

Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way  
Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way

A day or two ago  
A story I must tell  
I went out on the snow  
And on my back I fell

Stylish was riding by  
In an experiment-drawn sleigh  
He laughed as there I sprawling lie  
And quickly drove away

Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way  
Jingle Bols, jingle Bols,  
Jingle all the way  
Oh what fun is it to burn  
Whatever’s in my way

Now that the ground is white  
Try it while you’re young  
Take you girl tonight  
And sing this slaying song  
Just get a danger beast  
Two forty as its speed  
Hitch it to an open sleigh  
And crack! You’ll take the lead


	6. Kill the Christmas part 1

It was Christmas Eve, and all around the empire spirits were high. Despite all the corruption, poverty and injustice at the capital people hung up decorations and gave each other festive greetings, for it is at bleak times that people are most determined to enjoy themselves. And what better excuse is there to forget about the horrifying crimes against humanity committed in the emperor’s name and relax for a while than Christmas?

And spirits were especially high in the little mountain hideaway that the members of Night Raid called home. Despite the cold snow that fell from the night sky outside the window, inside the hideaway was warm, cosy and basked in the orange glow of candles and a roaring fireplace. Susanno was in the kitchen practising for Christmas dinner; a lavish feast, the centrepiece of which was an enormous turkey type danger beast stuffed with several other types of meat that had Akame drooling like a fountain at a merest smell. Leone, Mine and Chelsea were trying to decorate a Christmas tree with more baubles than it had room for. And Najenda sat in a comfortable armchair at the side of the room, savouring the happy faces and Christmas cheer of her team. Assassins must live with the knowledge that the next day could be their last, indeed for Bulat and Sheele that day had already come, so when it came to celebrating what could well be their last Christmas Najenda made sure there was no expense spared. 

Tatsumi was leaving a plate of cookie by the fireplace when Lubbock asked “Tatsumi? What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving some cookies out for Santa.” He replied. “He’s got a lot of work to do tonight, and I’m sure he’d appreciate them.”

Lubbock started laughing, “Tatsumi what are you? Five? Santa Claus isn’t real; you don’t need to pretend he is in the company of adults.”

“Eh?!? Santa isn’t real!” Tatsumi exclaimed. Lubbock sweat dropped “You know Tat’s, sometimes you’re naivety worries me.”

“But if Santa isn’t real, then who did the presents addressed from him come from?” Tatsumi protested.

“I don’t know, one of the people in your village I guess.” Lubbock shrugged. “Look Santa’s just a myth the grown up’s go along with to keep the kids happy and make Christmas seem magical. There’s no way a single person would be able to deliver toys all across the empire in one night, it can’t be done. You’d need a small army to…”

“Actually Lubbock, there may be more truth behind Santa Claus than you think.” Najenda interrupted.

“Hmm? What’s that supposed to mean?” Leone asked, as the members of night raid became interested in the conversation and gathered round.

“There was a strange phenomenon that I stumbled across a couple of years ago whilst I was still a general in the imperial army.” Najenda replied. “Now how did it go… aha! I remember…”

“It must have been eight years ago now that the name ‘Santa Claus’ first sprung up. It was in a small town called tinsel somewhere in the countryside where the children awoke on Christmas morning to find presents waiting for them under a tree, each of them apparently from ‘Santa Claus’. The next year all the surrounding towns received presents from the mysterious ‘Santa’ as well.”

“However it was the third year when suddenly, all across the empire, presents from this ‘Santa’ were found addressed to every single child under the age of twelve. Of course the legend of Santa had spread by then, and many people brushed of this occurrence as parents or kindly strangers secretly making Christmas more magical for the kids. However the higher ups in the imperial army had their doubts. Even in recently conquered areas where Christmas wasn’t a custom, and in some cases not even known about, the baffled children received presents without any idea why.”

“This wouldn’t normally have caused an investigation, until emperor Makato found he also had a present from Santa waiting for him under his tree. The Prime Minister was shocked, as he had made sure that the only people who gave the emperor presents were those we wanted the emperor to favor. Each present had gone through extensive checks to make sure they weren’t a threat to his highness, and the security around the palace was so tight a fly couldn’t have gotten in unnoticed. And yet on Christmas morning apparently someone had broken in to the palace undetected and left a gift amongst all the emperors other presents.”

“There was an extensive investigation after that incident; however nothing about Santa could be uncovered. The same thing happened the next year, and the next, until the army eventually gave up the investigation. This ‘Santa Claus’ wasn’t hurting anybody and the legend had become deeply ingrained into Christmas; in fact some parents started giving gifts to their children under the name ‘Santa Claus’ to enforce it. To this day nobody knows who ‘Santa Claus’ is, or how he does it, but the myth surrounding him brings smiles to the faces of children every year.”

“So there really is a Santa Claus? I knew it!” Tatsumi grinned.

“Oh come of it Tatsumi.” Lubbock groaned. “So yeah, maybe there is something handing out presents at Christmas time, but there’s no way it’s just one magical bearded old guy. There’s probably like a secret group of people all across the empire or something who give presents to all the kids in their area.”

“But then how did they get a present in to the emperor?” Akame countered. “Not just anyone can walk into the royal palace undetected. Not even us.”

“Maybe one of the nobles pulled some strings to surprise the emperor” Chelsea suggested.

“Well whatever the case, it’s none of our concern now is it.” Mine snapped. “Now come on, Su’s finished dinner and I’m hungry.”

With that all thoughts of Santa were pushed to the back of their minds, and the assassins sat down to enjoy their Christmas dinner. None of them suspecting the events that would take place that night.

 

It was the middle of the night, and all the assassins were tucked up in their beds when Akame was woken by her growling stomach. Despite the staggering size of the dinner Susanno had cooked for them earlier the black haired assassin’s stomach was often compared to a black hole, and now she required more food else she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She hazily recalled Tatsumi leaving a plate of cookies by the fireplace downstairs. 

“Well Santa’s not real anyway, so I’m sure no one will mind if I have one or two.” She reasoned to herself. She grabbed Murasame from her night stand and, barefoot in her pink pyjamas, headed downstairs to the fireplace.

It was as she was downstairs, finishing off the last of the cookies, that Akame suddenly heard a strange noise coming from the chimney. It sounded like something was trying to force its way down. As Akame went over to investigate, whatever was coming down the chimney suddenly reached the bottom, and a cloud of ash suddenly swept up, temporarily blinding Akame. When the ash cloud finally cleared Akame finally saw what had come down the chimney and couldn’t help but gasp.

What had come down the chimney was a giant of a man. He was dressed in red trousers, and black belt, black boots and a red coat with fluffy white trimmings that did little to hide his portly frame. And underneath the red, sock looking hat on his head was curly white hair and a great big white bushy beard. In fact the man looked just like the description of…

“Santa?” Akame asked.

The stranger chuckled, a gentle “hohoho” sounding chuckle that immediately set Akame at ease. “That’s right my dear.” The stranger said. “It is I, Santa Claus.”

“But what are you doing here?” Akame asked. “I though you only gave presents to children. And though Tatsumi has the mental age of a child sometimes, I don’t think that’s supposed to count in this situation.”

“Hohoho” Santa softly chuckled again. “Don’t worry about the little things. What matters is that I’ve got a present just for you little Akame. Would you like it?”

“Oh, um… sure. I guess” Akame stammered.

“Well then close your eyes and hold out your hands.” Santa commanded gently. Akame did as the kindly old man said, and waited with her eyes shut and hands out.

It was only thanks to her many years of training that Akame was able to sense the bloodlust at the last second and grab Murasame to block before something big and heavy smashed into her with incredible strength. The force of the impact sent her flying through the hideaways walls and into the snow covered fields outside.

As she staggered to stand up, still reeling from the blow, Santa emerged from the hole she had just made in the wall. He was effortlessly carrying what seemed to be a candy cane shaped staff that was as tall as he was and a thick as a tree truck. He ripped his red coat of to reveal that what Akame took to be fat was in fact mountains of solid muscle.

“I hope you haven’t drunk your fill of eggnog!” The hulking old man growled. “Cos’ this year Santa’s got a can of whoopass just for you!”

 

The other assassins awoke with a start as the sound of a wall smashing in. Without time to put on their proper clothes each member grabbed their imperial arms and rushed downstairs to the hole in the wall, just in time to see Akame outside in the snow, beginning to trade blow after blow with who appeared to be…

“Is that Santa?” Tatsumi asked with an incredulous gasp.

“No way…” Leone murmered. “Santa’s supposed to be jolly, he just looks pissed.”

“Well whoever it is, they’re attacking Akame. Come on, we have to help her!” Najenda bellowed, charging out into the snow with the others right behind her.

 

For a muscle bound old man, Santa was surprisingly agile. He had little to no trouble dodging or parrying Akame’s attacks, and he swung his staff with such speed and ferocity that Akame was struggling just to stay upright after each swing. But the snowy ground was treacherous and Akame was still barefoot, so it wasn’t long before she slipped and found herself unable to get away as Santa loomed over her, preparing for a finishing blow.

“You’d better not pout, you’d better not cry.” Father Christmas snarled. “Santa Claus is pummelling you down!”

As the candy cane came hurtling down Akame closed her eyes and steeled herself for the end. But at the last second something shiny and furry looking wrapped around her arm and pulled her out of harm’s way.

“Who the hell covered my Infinite Uses in tinsel!” Lubbock shouted.

“Stop complaining, it’s was easier to decorate the tree that way.” Mine snapped.

Chelsea helped Akame to her feet, and together the full force of night raid stared down the red and white hulk before them.

“Night Raid’s all here huh.” Santa grunted. He brought his fist to fist palm with a sharp smack. “I’m gonna deck the halls with your corpses.”

“Bring it on saint prick.” Mine sneered.

“Be careful of that staff guys.” Najenda said as she crouched into a fighting position. “That thing’s made from Yuletide log, the pine of a legendary fir tree in the far north. It’s tougher than steel and heavy to boot, yet that guy was swinging it round it was made of paper meaning he’s got some crazy strength there. If you take a direct hit from him you might be out for the season.”

“Don’t worry boss, he’s just some old fart jumped up on meds, no way are we gonna be taken down by the likes of him.” Leone purred, pouncing at the bearded man.

“Leone wait!” Najenda cried, but it was too late. From his back trouser pocket Santa pulled out two green, bush like rings and threw them at the Leone. The instant they touched her, the rings wrapped around her body tightly and she fell to the ground in an undignified heap.

“Gaah, what is this stuff!” Leone cried as the rings tightened around her.

“Stop struggling!” Najenda shouted. “Those are wreaths of nightmare holly! The more you struggle the tighter they’ll become.”

The shadow falling upon her alerted Leone that Santa was right on top of her, preparing to smash his staff down on her head. “I call this one the nutcracker!” Santa grinned devilishly. When suddenly Tatsumi, clad in Incursio, appeared out of thin air and hit Santa square in the jaw with a right hook. As Santa cried in pain Tatsumi scooped Leone off the floor and sprinted off.

“Thanks for dashing through the snow to my rescue Tat’s.” Leone laughed. “And nice use of Incursio’s invisibility.”

“Well ‘tis the season.” He replied. Two quick swipes from Murasame freed Leone from the nightmare holly, and she stood up again, reunited with her team.

“Ok, no more underestimating this guy. This time we attack as one.” Najenda declared. A resounding cry of ‘yes boss’ was all the confirmation needed as the group faced off against the insane Saint Nick.

Santa raised his staff into a swinging position and glared at the band of assassins before him. “Brace yourself boys and girls,” he grumbled, “Cos I’m about to come to town on your asses.”

 

All members of imperial high society are invited to, and are expected to attend the royal Christmas party, and Esdeath and the Jaegers were no exception. In the midst fancy clothing and polite conversation many heads were turned to look, in a mixture of curiosity and disgust, at the sight of a fishy smelling country boy and impassive looking black haired girl trying to stop a creepy masked man is a suit from collapsing on a table full of mince pies. How Bols had been able to drink so much champagne and eggnog without taking his mask off Wave did not know, but now his masked comrade was drawing much more attention than usual as he drunkenly insisted on trying to reheat the mince pies, which were at the perfect temperature already, with his Rubicante. 

“Run buddy, go get Esdeath. She has a sobering effect on people we could really use right now.” Wave begged his effeminate looking friend.

“I would, but she seems like she doesn’t want to be disturbed right now.” Run replied, glancing over to the far end of the hall where the most feared woman in the capital, general Esdeath, was looking wistfully out the window into the snowy night outside.

As the boys went back to calming Bols down, Seryu decided it couldn’t hurt to find out why her commander-in-chief was acting so distant. She approached Esdeath and, after offering her another glass of champagne, asked what the problem was.

“It’s nothing really, just a silly little thing.” Esdeath said with a sigh. “It’s just that I was hoping to be celebrating Christmas with my dear Tatsumi, this party would be so much more fun if he were here.”

“Cheer up boss.” Seryuu said with a comforting smile. “I’m sure you’ll see him again soon.”

“Yes you’re right of course; strong people are naturally drawn to one another.” Esdeath replied, returning the smile. She glanced out the window one more time. “And I’m sure wherever he is he’s warm, safe and thinking of me.”

 

Tatsumi was freezing, covered in bruises and thinking of how in hell he was supposed to red and white giant charging towards him from crushing him like a toothpick. Night Raid was holding nothing back, attacking with full force and terrifying precision, however their bearded adversary’s skills were unreal. He could dodge most attacks with practised ease, and his strikes were both fast and powerful, wasting no movements and giving the assassins no opportunity to counter.

Tatsumi and Akame launched a dual attack, both charging at Santa is unison. As the candy cane staff came hurtling towards them at frightening speed the two separated, Tatsumi leaping over the top while Akame slid on her knees through the snow underneath. Akame swiped at Santa’s legs, hoping to end it with a hit from Murasame, however the muscular old man leapt over her at the last second. Tatsumi launched a spinning kick at his head as Santa came upwards to meet him, but Santa grabbed his leg with his hand and, seemingly effortlessly, threw him down towards the floor.

“Gottcha!” Tatsumi grinned. From behind Santa’s back Susanno grabbed Akame’s arm as the black haired girl continued forward with the motion from her earlier attack and swung her 180 degrees around, increasing her speed and sending her back towards the fray. As Tatsumi fell down she leapt forwards, jumping of his falling body and hurtling towards Santa with intense speed.

“You can’t dodge me in the air!” She shouted, and with a quick slash brought a small cut to Santa’s unguarded side.

The combatants landed, and the less professional members of Night Raid let out a small sigh of relief.

“It’s over.” Akame said in an even tone. “Just a scratch from Murasame spreads a fatal poison that’ll kill you in seconds. Make your peace and die.”

However Santa did not make his peace, instead he began to laugh thunderously with a maniacal grin on his face. Then the area which he had just been cut turned to shade of deep blue, then to black.

The members of night raid looked shocked. “Is that frostbite?” Lubbock asked as the white bearded giant before them showed no signs of dying. “He countered Murasame’s poison by giving himself frostbite it that area of his body before he was cut! But how did he do that?”

It was then the assassins noticed that, buried underneath a bundle of white hairs on his chest, was a familiar red tattoo. “That’s the mark of the Imperial arms ‘Demon’s Extract’.” Tatsumi gasped, knowing the mark all too well from the times it had been literally shoved in his face by an over-feisty Esdeath along with her other ‘assets’ during his stay with the Jaegers. “He has the same Imperial arms as Esdeath?”

And too late, the assassins realised that the field they were fighting on put then in the worst possible position. Santa stuck his arms out, and as if guided by Santa’s hands the snow in the sky and on the ground below them started to swirl around them menacingly.

“Here’s a present for ya! AVALANCE TOWER!” Santa roared. And with that the snow around them blasted up like a volcanic eruption, sending the Night Raid member flying. The power behind the attack was unreal. And in the aftermath the assassins could barely find the strength to stand up again.

With the snow out of the sky the moonlight shone down upon the battlefield, illuminating their adversary properly for the first time. And as Santa’s facial feature finally becane clear the others looked at Najenda as she gave a small gasp of recognition.

“Kris? Is that you?”


	7. Kill the Christmas part 2

“Kris? Is that you?”

“Boss? You know this guy?” Mine asked with a look of disbelief on her face.

Najenda paused for a second, then nodded grimly. “That’s General Kristopher Kringle. He was known as one of the empires strongest, and kindest, generals. He would always share out his rewards from military victories with the poor and downtrodden people of the empire. But seven years ago he suddenly vanished without a trace.”

“This old man was a general? Well that at least explains the crazy strength.” Leone murmured.

“Kris, what happened to you?” Najenda asked. “You used to be such a kind and jolly man. Why have you turned into a bloodthirsty monster?”

Santa let out another laugh, a menacing “hohoho” that had none of the gentleness from before. “What happened to me? What happened is that I finally embraced who I really am...”

“Seven years ago I was one of the most powerful generals in the imperial military, and because of that the prime minister summoned me to select an Imperial Arms. What drew me to the Demon’s Extract I do not know, but upon drinking a single drop I felt such powerful bloodlust overcome me.”

“So it was the Imperial Arms that turned you into a monster?” Najenda asked.

“Not right away.” Santa replied. “For the past few years I have been fighting my destructive urges. I used by Imperial Arms time stop ability to deliver presents to children all across the empire, I wanted to spread happiness. But this year…” he gave a savage grin. “I came to a realisation; that as long as the naughty have all the power, the nice will never be happy. When I realised that I finally accepted the voices in my head that cry out for destruction, so this this year Santa’s coming down the chimney or every last person on the naughty list and giving them the gift of pain! Everybody who has sinned even once this year won’t live to see Boxing Day! It’s a Christmas Massacre!” With that Santa roared in maniacal laughter.

“This isn’t good; the destructive urges of his Imperial Arms must have finally driven him insane after all these years.” Najenda exclaimed. “Nobody is truly without sin, and as things are I think Kris is determined to kill everyone he comes across.”

“So his naughty list has become a hit list?” Tatsumi asked. “We need to take him down before he reaches more populated areas and goes on a rampage.”

At that moment a single red light blinked into view in the sky, and seemed to be quickly moving closer and closer to the battlefield. “Now what’s happening?” Lubbock whined.  
Santa gave a soft, sinister chuckle. “Reinforcements have arrived.” He declared.

“Oh crap!” Najenda murmured.

“What is it?” Akame asked.

“Najenda glared at the incoming light. “Boneyard Reindeer.” She said with gritted teeth.

Now Tatsumi looked harder, the light wasn’t just one thing but nine. From a distance they really did look like reindeer, however as they drew closer Tatsumi noticed a few differences. Their pelts were a dead, colourless shade of grey and their horns had many sharp, uneven protrusions sticking out to them. Instead of hooves these reindeer had claws, and the rows of sharp fangs that replaced normal teeth made Tatsumi think these things resemble wolves. The most noticeable difference however was the pair of bony, bat like wings each reindeer sprouted from their backs which enabled them to fly. 

The most frightening one was the source of the light, the one at the front of the pack. It seemed about two heads taller than the other reindeer, and its nose appeared to be the source of the red light as it shone angrily like a hot coal.

“Now Thrasher, now Smasher, now Carnage and Crasher. On Slicer, On Dicer, On Savage and Basher.” Santa cried, and the eight ‘normal’ boneyard reindeer charged at the Night Raid, each one going after a different member.

“This guy was tough enough, now we have to deal with his freaky pets!” Leone whined as she dodged a vicious slash from one of the charging reindeer.

“As it stands we’ve lost our only advantage, our numbers.” Najenda grimaced. “The only hope we’ve got now is dealing a blow with Murasame to one of his vital area’s that Kris can’t freeze. Akame, I’ll handle your reindeer so try to take Kris down. You go with her too Tatsumi, Incursio’s the only thing tough enough to survive a direct hit from him.”

“Are you gonna be ok handling 3 reindeer by yoursel…?” Tatsumi asked, but was cut short as Najenda dealt a crushing blow to the neck of the reindeer before her, which collapsed like a sack of hammers. “Ok scratch that, make it two reindeer.”

“I’m fine, just go.” Najenda commanded.

“Right boss.” Tatsumi replied. With a quick nod to Akame the duo charged at the festive juggernaut.

“Come get some kiddies.” Santa growled. “I’ll bash your heads in with the coal in your stockings.”

 

The prime minister was my no means a slim man; in fact there was many a time when, even in the middle of court, the minister could be found distracted by a delicious chicken leg in his hand. But to see the amount he ate at Christmas made those around him secretly wonder if he possessed some kind of stomach based Imperial Arms that allowed him to hold what must be over three times his body weight in food.

And after about three hours of stuffing his face, Honest finally took a break to pull a cracker with the child emperor seated beside him. 

“Ready your majesty, and… pull!”

With a pop the cracker split in two, and a diamond encrusted broach fell out on to the table.

“Oh minister, look at this!” The emperor cried with childish glee as he picked up the broach. “It’s beautiful. And all across the empire people are getting gifts like these in their crackers?”

“That’s right your majesty.” The prime minister said with a cheery smile.

“I doubt anyone outside this room will even see a cracker this year.” He thought.

“And they’re all enjoying a feast like this with their families?” Makato asked with childish innocence.

“Of course, they’re having stuffed birds, pigs in blankets and Christmas pudding with all their loved ones.” The prime minister replied.

“If they were able to nick some from someone else.” He thought.

“And tomorrow they’ll all wake up to a big pile of presents right?” Makato asked excitedly.

“They’ll have trouble unwrapping them all before next Christmas!” The minister joked loudly, causing bouts of kind sounding laughter from everyone around.

“They aren’t getting shit for Christmas.” Honest thought.

“Wow, Christmas is always such fun.” Makato laughed. “I’m so glad that everyone in this prosperous and fair empire can all celebrate it as lavishly as we can.”

If only he knew.

 

Santa roared in anger, and the blast of icy breath the shot from his mouth narrowly missed Tatsumi’s head as he ducked to avoid it. Santa was bad enough before, but now they had to deal with the occasional storm of icicles or other ice based attacks that the bearded old man was now augmenting his fighting style with.

Akame leapt up and brought Murasame down in a strong, sweeping arc towards Santa’s head, but the snow in the air quickly clumped together to form a wall of icy blocking the attack. Santa smashed his staff against the wall, sending Akame and large chunks of ice hurtling towards Tatsumi. Tatsumi conjured Neuntote and spun in around quickly, using it as a barrier of sorts that smashed the chunks of ice into little bits on contact, then charged forwards and delivered a series of thrusts at Santa’s chest.

Santa was forced to take a few steps back to avoid the stabbing attacks, then swung his candy cane staff in a full circle around him to prevent Tatsumi from pressing his attack. But for the briefest moment Santa took his eyes off the assassin, and when he looked again the armour clad boy had disappeared.

“Turning invisible again huh.” Santa growled, keeping alert for any signs of the boy reappearing. “Even if you turn invisible, I’ll see your footsteps in the snow, you can’t…”  
Yet there were no footprints in the snow anywhere. Santa roared in frustration, “Where did he…”

And then Tatsumi reappeared centimetres away from Santa face and hit him with a brutal double kick, sending Santa flying backwards. “In the sky walnut brain.” He taunted. “I learned how to mask my presence a while ago.”

“I’m gonna shove my staff so far up your backside you won’t be able to look at a stuffed turkey without crying!” Santa snarled with a murderous glare, clutching his now broken nose. “Bloodolph, attack!”

The red nosed reindeer charged towards Tatsumi with frightening speed. “Be on guard Tatsumi” Akame cried. “That one’s the alpha of the pack. That nose is shiny enough to guide its pack through even the foggiest night, and it’s hot enough to melt through solid steel.”

Akame wasn’t kidding, as Tatsumi brought Neuntote to block the jagged horns that Bloodolph led his charge with he could feel the intense heat through Incursio’s thick plating. The reindeer was strong enough to continue pushing Tatsumi back and the young assassin struggled to find a good footing in the snow to stop it. Suddenly something bumped into his back.

“Mine, what are you doing over here?” Tatsumi asked.

“Getting away from that thing!” Mine replied, pointing over to a little distance away where another reindeer was pawing the snow, getting ready to charge right at them.

“That one’s gonna charge us as well!” Tatsumi panicked. “We’re going to be sandwiched in by a two pairs of razor sharp antlers. Talk about a rock and a hard place.”

Mine clicked her fingers. “That’s it! Tatsumi you’re a genius!” She cried. 

“A complement from you, it really is Christmas.” Tatsumi chuckled.

“Oh save it.” Mine retorted. “Listen, when I say so I need you to take out the reindeer about to charge us ok.”

“Umm…ok” Tatsumi stammered. At that the other reindeer began its charge, getting closer and closer to the duo.

“Hey Mine…” Tatsumi murmured.

“Not yet” Mine replied.

The reindeer was coming closer.

“Mine…” Tatsumi said again, a note of panic in his voice.

“Not yet” Mine replied.

The reindeer drew closer and closer, Tatsumi could see the whites of its eyes.

“Mine!” he shouted.

“Ok now!” Mine shouted back.

With that Mine turned to face Bloodolph and pulled the trigger on Pumpkin, the pinch of being mere seconds away from being skewered by two boneyard reindeer giving the gun a massive power boost. A flash of light enveloped Bloodolph, and after a roaring blast that shook the air and levelled the ground all that was left of Bloodolph was a red nose, slowly losing its red glow. The shock of the sudden blast took the other reindeer by surprise. And taking the opportunity Tatsumi shoved Neuntote between its eyes, dispatching it before it had the chance to recover.

“Good thinking Mine.” Tatsumi grinned.

Mine huffed proudly. “Of course, what else did you expect from me?”

 

Looking around, it seemed like the other assassin’s had finished off their reindeers as well. They regrouped together to once again to stand against the festive old fighter, who seemed to be running low on his stamina reserves. All combatants could feel that they were reaching their limits, and that this fight would be decided in the next few moves.

Santa held his hands up in the air, and a gigantic ball of ice formed above the Night Raid members. “HOHOHO!” Santa roared, and brought his arms down, sending the small comet hurtling towards the group. Susanno leapt up towards it, smashing into it with his stave to slow it down, while Mine fired a volley of shots, Lubbock formed a metal spear to throw and Najenda fired her metal arm at it. The salvo of projectiles shattered the comet, which broke into small shards of ice concealing Night Raid from view.

As one Leone and Akame charged out from the mist and headed towards Santa with a battle cry. Leone lunged with a double claw slash but Kris parried with his staff. The bearded behemoth then spun his staff around to force Leone to back off. Akame came in low with a strong slash from the left side, which Saint Nick easily caught with the hook of his staff.  
“You’ll have to try better than that little girl!” He snarled. “A weak attack like that will never hit me.”

“It wasn’t meant to.” Akame smiled softly as a thin line of steam blew off her, turning her back into the form of Chelsea.

“You bitc…” Santa began, but too late he heard the sound of a footstep behind him. Incursio once again reappeared, unwrapping its cloak to reveal the real Akame with her sword drawn.

“It’s over.” Akame calmly declared. She leapt off of Tatsumi’s armoured chest and pierced Murasame straight through Santa chest.

“GRAAAH!” Santa cried out in pain, as Murasame’s poison spread through his body. The assassin’s leapt back as Santa fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

“Goodbye Kris.” Najenda sighed. “We’ll remember you are you used to be, not as what you became.”

Santa crashed down onto the ground, the tension leaving his body as he fell face first into the snow.

For a few seconds there was nothing but the sound of heavy breathing, when Tatsumi unceremoniously broke it with the words “Guys… have we just killed Santa Claus?”

“It’s time like this that I’m not so sure if we’re still the good guys.” Lubbock sighed.

“We had to do it.” Najenda assured them. “It’s our job to rid the world of anything that threatens the innocent, Father Christmas is no exception.”

“N…Najenda old girl? Is that you?” Santa wheezed.

“Kris!” Najenda shouted, running over to the old man’s side.

“They’re gone.” Santa whispered. “The voices are finally gone. What happened to me?”

“You snapped.” Najenda replied softly. “The voices overwhelmed you and sent you on a rampage.”

“No… No one was hurt right?” He asked weakly.

“No Kris, we stopped you here before you could do anyone any harm.” Najenda assured him.

“I see.” Santa said gently with a little smile. “Then the people are safe, thank god.”

Najenda grimaced. “I’m sorry Kris, if we could have stopped you without killing you we would have, but you were to powerful.”

“No, no. It’s all right.” The jolly old man assured her. “You did what was best, that’s all that matters. Even if I’m gone, the name of Santa Claus will live on in Christmas tradition forever.”

“It will.” Najenda replied with a small, sad smile. “Goodbye Kris.”

“Goodbye Najenda.” Santa whispered softly as his eyes closed. “And merry… Christmas.”

It was there, in a moonlit field with snow gently falling around him, that Kristopher Kringle passed away.

 

Christmas morning came around and the members of Night Raid were all seated round a table stuffing their faces with all the turkey, drinking sherry and being merry. Despite their unusual night there was no gloom hanging over the assassin heads, after all death was something they were all well accustomed to already and they all knew lingering in sadness would achieve nothing.

Mine was shouting angrily at a laughing Chelsea over some sort of prank Chelsea had set in Mine’s cracker, Lubbock was lecherously expressing his desire to have Najenda in nothing but a ribbon for Christmas and Akame was shovelling down the Christmas dinner like a whirlpool. All in all it was pretty much a standard meal for Night Raid with a festive theme to it.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Tatsumi thought to himself happily.

Najenda tapped her fork on her glass, the ringing noise gaining the attention of the others.

Najenda cleared her throat. “This year has been a difficult one, we have lost close friends and gained powerful new enemies. We have all worked so hard already, yet there is still so much more to do. However it has been a kind year as well, for we have made strong new friends and the end of our long journey is in sight. It is at this time of year that we honour those who came before us and look forward to the future that destiny has in store for us.” She raised her glass with her robotic arm. “Merry Christmas!” she cried.

“Merry Christmas!” the others responded, clinking their glasses in the air.

Tatsumi grinned, “And a happy new year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading my very first fanfiction, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it.
> 
> Merry Christmas you wonderful people, and a happy new year.


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